The golden rule of border crossings by car — avoid the popular checkpoints
🏎️ After a year of road-tripping across Latin America, I've figured out the golden rule:
Never cross the border at a popular spot. You'll burn three hours in line, they'll make you unload everything from the car and confiscate your bananas (did you know banana gnats can only travel in air-conditioned 4x4s, since they can't fly across the border themselves — wrong passport color), and then someone will patiently explain that you were supposed to buy a special dollar-a-sheet toilet-paper form with a printed questionnaire in advance, and if you don't have it — well, go find one somewhere out in the night yourself.
The perfect border crossing is in the mountains or the jungle, where there's nobody around
Switch countries through villages high in the mountains or deep in impassable jungle. It'll be blowing a gale outside, so nobody will even glance at the car, every customs officer and their dog will want a photo with you, because a russo-gringo-turisto in a backwater like this is the highlight of the week — they might even pour you a coffee. And if you don't show up during the one migration officer's lunch break, you'll clear the whole thing in about 10 minutes.